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June 22 2015

jackie777
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jackie777
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Reposted byprimeval919juhudora

May 18 2015

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-transparents:

Semi Transparent Poké Ball (matches the color of your blog)

//more here

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addictedtonovelty:

This is by far the most incredibly stupid statement I have heard in literally years good bye america

Reposted fromRuisu-kun Ruisu-kun
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i-dontknow-ok:

medic981:

vintage-and-whatnot:

Okay so science side of tumblr help me out, because I thought the rapture was happening this morning

Those are Kelvin-Helmholtz billow clouds. Its the air equivalent to sea waves rolling to the shore. Very beautiful and quite rare.

Woah

Reposted fromRuisu-kun Ruisu-kun
jackie777
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Reposted fromkjuik kjuik viasuperbrainz superbrainz
jackie777
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Reposted fromfungi fungi viasuperbrainz superbrainz
jackie777

sssammich:

someonecalledmefamous:

mu5icliz:

germansam:

tokyosluts:

Sleeping is nice because youre not actually dead and youre not awake so its a win-win situation

It’s like being dead without the commitment.

an open relationship with death

death with benefits

#an every night stand

Reposted fromhairinmy hairinmy viasuperbrainz superbrainz
jackie777
jackie777
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  You've been hit by
you've been struck by
a smooth criminal.
Reposted fromVegelus Vegelus viasuperbrainz superbrainz
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doasdreamrsdo:

falcnpunch:

askradicalgoodspeed:

darthshadow:

Well fuck you too.

For those that do not get this: Bulbasaur is the first on the pokedex, Mew is the genetic ancestor to all Pokemon  Rhydon was the first Pokemon ever created, and Arceus created the universe so it is also technically the first in that came before everything, even space and time. Therefore there is no correct answer

pokemon aint real hows that answer

YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH

jackie777
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Reposted fromVegelus Vegelus viasuperbrainz superbrainz
jackie777
jackie777
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princemetalthunder:

skrill-cosby:

drucila616:

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral…
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

oh my god these are great

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes

jackie777
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thegeekyqueen:

Mark’s words of wisdom

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